Fertility Options Coach

I’ve known I had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) most of my adult life. So, when we had trouble getting pregnant the second time around, I assumed the problem was just PCOS. However, I decided to get some tests from my doctor and my husband volunteered to be tested as well. It is always a good idea to rule out male infertility, even if there is a known fertility problem with the female partner. We were shocked to learn that along with a lot of other couples with infertility – he and I both have problems that make getting pregnant more difficult.

First, we learned that my estrogen levels were really, really low. My doctor wants to wait and see what happens, but my initial research was turning up only a handful of potential reasons for low estrogen. Since I am not anorexic or a heavy-training athlete, I was not thrilled to see the other two potential reasons – early menopause or premature ovarian failure. It is too early to say if those issues are headed my way, since my FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) levels are fine. But, it is still a worrisome symptom and on top of the PCOS, not my favorite test result!

Then we got the sperm analysis test results back – and I was floored again. While the numbers were great overall (26 million, well above the expected 20 million) and the motility was great (60 percent, compared with an average of 40 percent), the morphology was not.

Morphology refers to the physical formation of sperm. In order to be effective, they need to be properly put together with a shapely head and just one, well-formed tail. If the head is too flat or oddly shaped, it can’t penetrate an egg. If the tail is doubled, twisted, broken or otherwise poorly shaped, the sperm can’t manuever well or swim well.

The University lab is fairly tough in grading, according to my doctor, but they assigned a score of only 11 percent properly formed – when they were looking for a more “normal” 30 percent. This was not good news. While you only need technically one sperm to do the job, it takes a lot of them to ensure the chance that one sperm will be able to finish the job.

So, what changes when both partners are infertile? Other than the obvious, that it is going to be harder for us to get pregnant than we thought, several other things have changed as well.

My husband is starting to understand what I have gone through all these years. Since he has two children (one from a previous marriage), he never had reason to believe that he might have any infertility issues. Now, he is starting to understand a bit of the grief and fear that accompanied me the many years I was trying to have my first baby.

It has also changed the way I am reacting to my own infertility. I feel less able to react to the monthly rollercoaster. I don’t want to be too upset when I fail to ovulate – since I am worried he will blame himself if we don’t have another baby.

We’ll work all of this out – we’ll find a way to have that second baby if there is a way. We’ll work through the emotional side of things. But this is different than it was when it was all just “me.”